Roy's key performance indicators

9001
emails sent per hour
42
posters hung per week
15
meetings without agendas

Roy's top communication tips

Always use Comic Sans for important memos

Always use Comic Sans for important memos

Roy wholeheartedly believes that using Comic Sans will elevate corporate communications, because nothing says professionalism like a font that’s practically a party on the page.

The more exclamation points, the more urgent!!!

The more exclamation points, the more urgent!!!

Roy is convinced that using multiple exclamation points in emails conveys a sense of urgency and excitement, because nothing grabs attention like looking perpetually surprised!!!!!!!!

CC everyone, just to be safe

CC everyone, just to be safe

Roy firmly believes that copying everyone on emails is the best way to ensure no one is forgotten, because who doesn’t love wading through a flood of irrelevant messages to find the one that actually matters?

When in doubt, schedule another meeting

When in doubt, schedule another meeting

Roy strongly believes that meetings are the key to success, because there’s no problem that can’t be solved by talking about it for another hour.

Roy's CEO Masterclass: How (not) to guarantee maximum town hall attendance

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Roy's communication 101

Pizza parties

Pizza parties

Daily pizza parties are the key to fostering deep connections among employees. After all, nothing brings people together like debating pineapple as a topping.
Send to all

Send to all

Sending mass emails to every employee ensures that everyone feels equally overwhelmed and uninformed. It’s an effective strategy for making sure nothing gets done!
Motivational posters

Motivational posters

Motivational posters are the key to an engaged workforce, because any goal is attainable when you stop to contemplate a picture of a cat hanging from a clothesline.

What Roy's employees are saying

“If Roy sends one more mass email today, I’m going to start replying-all with cat videos — just to see if anyone notices.”
“The daily pizza parties haven't done much for my productivity. On the other hand, my cholesterol is through the roof! Thanks Roy!”
“I think I need a motivational poster to deal with all the motivational posters.”

Roy's upcoming communication events

roys-calendar

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